Category Archives: Endurance

Hope for the journey…


man in gray shit sitting on rock boulder

Photo by daffa rayhan zein on Pexels.com

I desperately needed to read these verses today and I thought they might give someone else facing difficulties much needed hope or encouragement.  If we focus on our problems instead of our hope in Christ life can quickly overwhelm us. I can never have enough reminders of God’s everlasting love and goodness to me. Even on my good days I’m often weak and easily distracted by life’s tribulations and trials. I default to fear and anxiety at the first sign of trouble more than I want to admit. Worry and panic have been my companions since childhood and I’m having a hard time letting go of them.  God is teaching me to trust Him more each day and for that I”m forever grateful…even though some times I struggle desperately with His methods and my emotional reactions. He never tires even when I’m worn out and weary and He’s forever faithful, His promises to His children are eternal and we can rest in them, no matter what our circumstances.

Dear reader hold fast…He’s our sold rock no matter the severity of the storm ❤

  • And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
  • “Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God” (PSA 146:5)
  • “the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (PSA 147:11).
  • “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (PSA 40:31).
  • “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (ROM 15:13).
  • “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him” (PSA 62:5).
  • “May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word” (PSA 119:74).
  • “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (PSA 42:5)
  • “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope” (PSA 130:5).
  • “O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption” (PSA 130:7).
  • “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (PROV 13:12).
  • “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” (PROV 23:18).
  • “Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you” (ZECH 9:12).
  • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (JER 29:11).
  • “through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:2-4).
  • “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (ROM 5:5).
  • “in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 2But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (ROM 8:24-25).
  • “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (ROM 12:12).
  • “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” (ROM 15:4).
  • “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (COL 1:27)
  • “a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time” (TIT 1:2)
  • “Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. 1God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged” (HEB 6:17-18).
  • “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 2where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek” (Heb 6:17-19-20).
  • “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (HEB 10:23).
  • “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (HEB 11:1).
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Things I couldn’t say.


kintsugi-crack-method-1How do you start blogging again after so long an absence? I really wondered if I would ever have anything to say again. I had so many things I wanted to write about but for some reason when I sat down to type my thoughts were such a jumble, nothing made much sense to me or was worth sharing. A few weeks ago while driving in my car talking to the Lord I suddenly had one of those aha! moments. No light bulb appeared magically above my head but I was overwhelmed with the realization that even though it was never a problem for me to share about my health issues and open up about the emotions associated with living life chronically ill, my mental health was another matter entirely.

Several years ago when I was still posting here I slowly stopped writing and started sharing snippets and thoughts from devotionals or books I was reading. When I look back at this blog initially it was a safe place to collect my thoughts, work through theological ideas and learn and gain strength and encouragement from other bloggers. It’s obvious to me now that I was in the process of shutting down long before I stopped posting entirely. It’s taken me a few years to sort through what exactly happened, the mistakes I have made and to move forward with honesty, courage and repentance where necessary and to face the truth of my limitations with grace. It’s sometimes hard admitting your mistakes but it’s often harder to really leave them at the cross and go forward with some kind of mercy towards yourself. If that sounds radical or heretical it’s just how it is with mental illness, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Shame helps nothing and it’s been a wrestling match trying to handle my issues without heaping more hot coals on my own head.   It’s been an intense journey and it’s often seemed like one trial after another.

I’m happy to say that having survived these tests my faith is not only intact, it’s stronger than ever. For the first time as a Christian I feel real, lasting joy regardless of my circumstances. Like the Apostle Paul, or Joseph and so many saints before me I can say that the joy of the Lord has sustained me, regardless of prison, shipwreck or palace. I’m at a place beyond simple gratitude and thankfulness for my salvation, I’m at a renewed place of hope and real, lasting peace knowing that no matter what, I can trust in and lean on Christ.  It’s often tough trying not to confuse our earthly parental relationships with our relationship to our heavenly Father, even more so for a child of abuse.  My struggles with anxiety and CPTSD have only strengthened and confirmed my relationship and place in God’s kingdom and that’s led to a newfound joy and strength in my life and I need to share that with people. Whatever it took to get me here was worth every pain, frustration or fear and I’m so thankful for the opportunity to once again share those experiences with other people.

Hopefully in the next few weeks I can try to work through what happened, how I coped successfully and often unsuccessfully and through my thoughts help encourage someone else struggling with some of the same issues I faced. After all that’s the point isn’t it? As Christians we just keep putting one foot in front of the other following Jesus and in that process we find that when we look back there are thankfully other people coming up the road who need our help somehow. I hope this blog and it’s sort of rebirth can be that help for someone, and honor our Lord in the process.

As I was in the process of posting this I came across this nugget of wisdom from J. R. Miller. If you are struggling today with shame, failure or weakness take heart, this will hopefully encourage you.

“God is the God of those who fail. Not that He loves those who stumble and fall, better than those who walk erect without stumbling; but He helps them more. The weak believers get more of His grace–than those who are strong believers. There is a special divine promise, which says, “My divine power is made perfect in weakness.” When we are conscious of our own insufficiency, then we are ready to receive of the divine sufficiency. Thus our very weakness is an element of strength. Our weakness is an empty cup–which God fills with His own strength.” J. R. Miller, “The Beatitude for the Unsuccessful” 1892)

 

“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

 

 

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TRUE GREATNESS


Solitude Sweetened

by James Meikle, 1730-1799

'California_Field_Workers',_oil_on_canvas_painting_by_Warren_Eugene_Brandon

Many are reckoned great by the world, and are often envied by their inferiors, who are yet ignorant of what renders man truly great. A courtier, as Ahithophel, a prince, as Haman, and a king, as Belshazzar, may be vile and sordid people; for often in the highest stations the basest of men are set up. Coaches and chariots; horses and hounds; many servants, and a numerous retinue; a sumptuous table, and fine apparel; high titles, and honorary posts; great friends, and noble blood; rich connections, and immense wealth—do not constitute true greatness. It is not nobility, or popularity, or beauty, or talent—that will render one great. It is not strength of body, natural courage, liberal education, bright parts, or sparkling genius—that can make a truly great man. Hence this seeming contradiction, yet sterling truth, Great men are not always great.

Are there, then, great men any where to be found? Yes, though they attract not much notice or regard of men. The holy, humble, self-denied soul, is truly great. He who lives above the things of time, and has his meditation on God, and the things of the invisible world. He who is pleased with a little of the good things of this world—can forgive enemies—pass by affronts—forget injuries—repay hatred with love—rejoice in tribulation—triumph in faith—have rule over his own spirit—mourn for the sins of the times—weep over his lack holiness—tremble at God’s threatenings—depend on the promises—bewail his omissions—repent daily for his sin—wrestle in prayer, and prevail with God, and, Enoch-like, have his conversation in heaven, and walk with God—this is he who is truly great in the eye of angels, in the eye of God!

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Love grows in the shade


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In one of my garden books there is a chapter with a very interesting heading, “Flowers that Grow in the Gloom.” It deals with those patches in a garden which never catch the sunlight. And my guide tells me the sort of flowers which are not afraid of these dingy corners–may rather like them and flourish in them.

And there are similar things in the world of the spirit. They come out when material circumstances become stern and severe. They grow in the gloom. How can we otherwise explain some of the experiences of the Apostle Paul?

Here he is in captivity at Rome. The supreme mission of his life appears to be broken. But it is just in this besetting dinginess that flowers begin to show their faces in bright and fascinating glory. He may have seen them before, growing in the open road, but never as they now appeared in incomparable strength and beauty. Words of promise opened out their treasures as he had never seen them before.

Among those treasures were such wonderful things as the grace of Christ, the love of Christ, the joy and peace of Christ; and it seemed as though they needed an “encircling gloom” to draw out their secret and their inner glory. At any rate the realm of gloom became the home of revelation, and Paul began to realize as never before the range and wealth of his spiritual inheritance.

Who has not known men and women who, when they arrive at seasons of gloom and solitude, put on strength and hopefulness like a robe? You may imprison such folk where you please; but you shut up their treasure with them. You cannot shut it out. You may make their material lot a desert, but “the wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad, and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose.”
–Dr. Jowett

“Every flower, even the fairest, has its shadow beneath it as it basks in the sunlight.”

Where there is much light there is also much shade.

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Let my life be filled, packed and crammed


broken house

Wasted time, it’s often the bane of my existence. I putter and fret and think about wordly stuff that just doesn’t matter. My selfish thoughts take up far too much of my time and I stand surrounded by souls that need Christ. I stand convicted and ashamed. When I think about time, and it’s redeeming I realize I have so little left here to reach out to the people in my path and I try to regroup….let it be my prayer today to stop and share Christ with anyone who is willing to listen.

(Charles Spurgeon, “Flowers from a Puritan’s Garden” 1883)

“When men have much to say in a letter, and perceive that they have little paper left, they write closely.”

Looking at the shortness of life, and the much that has to be written upon life’s tablets–it befits us also to do much in a short space, and so to write closely.

“No day without a line!” is a good motto for a Christian.

A thoroughly useful life is very short, for it is but a span–but how much may be crowded into it for God, our souls, the Church, our families, and our fellows!

We cannot afford wide blanks of idleness. We should not only live by the day, but by the 20 minutes, as Wesley did. He divided each hour into three parts.

So scanty is our life’s space, that we must condense and leave out superfluous matter–giving room only to that which is weighty and of the first importance.

Lord, whether I live long or not, I leave to your discretion. But help me to live while I live, that I may live profitably. You can give life more abundantly. Let me receive it, and let my life be filled, packed and crammed, with holy thoughts and words and deeds to Your glory!

“But this I say, brethren, the time is short!” 1 Corinthians 7:29

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sorrowful yet always rejoicing


 

tears_of_sadness

As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing (2 Corinthians 6:10).

 

Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss below. When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her.

 

Joy was beautiful, too, but his was the radiant beauty of the summer morning. His eyes still held the glad laughter of childhood, and his hair had the glint of the sunshine’s kiss. When Joy sang his voice soared upward as the lark’s, and his step was the step of a conqueror who has never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him.

 

“But we can never be united,” said Sorrow wistfully. “No, never.” And Joy’s eyes shadowed as he spoke. “My path lies through the sunlit meadows, the sweetest roses bloom for my gathering, and the blackbirds and thrushes await my coming to pour forth their most joyous lays.”

 

“My path,” said Sorrow, turning slowly away, “leads through the darkening woods, with moon-flowers only shall my hands be filled. Yet the sweetest of all earth-songs–the love song of the night–shall be mine; farewell, Joy, farewell.”

 

Even as she spoke they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great and holy awe stole over them as they sank on their knees before Him.

 

“I see Him as the King of Joy,” whispered Sorrow, “for on His Head are many crowns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever.”

 

“Nay, Sorrow,” said Joy softly, “but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that I have known.”

 

“Then we are one in Him,” they cried in gladness, “for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow.” Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in the bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, “as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.”

L.B. Cowman from “Streams in the dessert”.

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Home


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by Horatius Bonar

Afflictions are preparing for us a “more abundant entrance,” a weightier crown,a whiter robe, a sweeter rest,a home made doubly precious by a long exile and many sufferings here below. However desperate our earthly warfare may be, it is not forever. No,it is brief,very brief. Its end is near, very near. And with the end come triumph,and honor, and songs of victory. Then, too, there follows peace, and the return of the war-worn soldier to his quiet dwelling. This is the joy of the saint. He has fought a good fight, he has finished the course, he has kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for him the crown of righteousness. His battle is over, and then for him there are rest and home. Home! Yes,home! And what a home for us to return to and abide in forever! A home prepared before the foundation of the world. A home in the many mansions. A home nearest the throne and heart of God. A home whose peace shall never be broken by the sound of war or tempest. A home whose brightness shall never be overcast by the remotest shadow of a cloud. How solacing to the weary spirit to think of a resting-place so near, and that resting-place our Father’s house where we shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more, where the sun shall not scorch us,nor any heat, where the Lamb that is in the midst of the throne shall feed us and lead us to living fountains of waters,and God Himself shall wipe away all tears from our eyes! The time is at hand. The conflicts are almost over. Our struggles and sorrows are nearly done. A few more years, and we shall either be laid quietly to rest, or caught up into the clouds to meet our coming Lord. A few more deaths, and then we shall be knit together in eternal brotherhood with all the scattered members of the family. A few more suns shall rise and set,and then we shall ascend in its strength the one unsetting sun. A few more days shall dawn and darken, and then shall shine forth the one unending day. A few more clouds shall gather over us, and then the world shall be cleared forever. But a few brief years, and we shall enter in through the gates into the city, sitting down beneath the shadow of the tree of life, feeding upon the hidden manna, and drinking of the pure river clear as crystal,which proceeds out of the throne of God and of the Lamb! Bu a few brief years and we shall see His face, and His name shall be upon our foreheads! We have only the foretaste now. The full brightness is in reserve,and we know that all that is possible or conceivable of what is good and fair and blessed shall one day be real and visible. Out of all evil there comes the good; out of sin comes holiness; out of darkness, light; out of death, life eternal; out of weakness, strength; out of the fading, the blooming; out of rottenness and ruin,loveliness and majesty; out of the curse come the blessing, the incorruptible, the immortal, the glorious, the undefiled! Our present portion, however, is but the pledge,not the inheritance. The inheritance is reserved for the appearing of the Lord. Here we see but through a glass darkly. It does not yet appear what we shall be. We are now but as wayfaring men,wandering in the lonely night,who see dimly upon the distant mountain peak the reflection of a sun that never rises here, but which shall never set in the “new heavens” hereafter. And this is enough. It comforts and cheers us on our dark and rugged way. It would not be enough hereafter,but it is enough just now. This wilderness will do for us until we cross into Canaan. The tent will do until the eternal city comes. The joy of believing is enough until we enter on the joy of seeing. We are content with the “mountain of myrrh,and the hill of frankincense,” until “the day breaks and the shadows flee away.”

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Where lieth peace?


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He said, “I will forget the dying faces; The empty places, They shall be filed again. O voices moaning deep within me, cease,” But vain the word; vain, vain: Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, “I will crowd action upon action, The strife of faction shall stir me and sustain; O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.” But vain the word; vain, vain: Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, “I will withdraw me and be quiet, Why meddle in life’s riot? Shut be my door to pain. Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.” Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, “I will submit; I am defeated. God hath depleted My life of its rich gain. O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?” But vain the word; vain, vain: Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, “I will accept the breaking sorrow Which God tomorrow will to His Son explain.” Then did the turmoil deep within him cease. Not vain the word, not vain; For in Acceptance lieth peace.

-Amy Carmichael

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A little story about Hope.


Someone asked me the other day ” how do you have hope when things look so bad?” A young woman I know has had a pretty rough time of it lately. Life can be brutal no matter who you are, but she’s had her share of troubles and I told her the only genuine, lasting comfort I have ever known and that is an eternal relationship with Jesus Christ. I have had my share of troubles too and spent a few long months as a young adult in lock down in a Hospital. I also spent a terrifying night and day in a psychiatric ward for drug addicts and the mentally fragile. Not a fun place to be and for many years these and other experiences haunted me. What was later diagnosed as Post traumatic stress disorder wreaked havoc on my jobs, relationships and my ability to function as a normal person for many years of my life.  I had serious panic attacks often that started in my teens and eventually  almost completely shut down before trying to commit suicide. I had gone through a lot of traumatic events at a young age and that combined with years of abuse  took it’s toll on my mental state and I could barely function.  Many years later I heard the Gospel preached and I was saved and my life changed radically. Overnight I had a profound desire to serve the Lord and follow him, and even though that is a process there was a visible change in my life. I was freed from so many of the emotional pains and scars and really healed from the inside out by trusting Jesus with the entirety of my life…and it’s miraculous to say the least how he has changed me. I was a shy, terrified mess…and I am a pretty strong person in Christ now and I am so grateful to God, only He could work such a miracle. I can cry pretty easily thinking about how life used to be, and I  have often wondered why I had to go through so many of these things, but I  trust God and I know he’s in control and that has given me so much peace.

While talking to this young woman I realized that God was using my past to help and encourage her. This  woman was in the same hospital that I was, and she was just as scared and lost and confused.  There were so many similarities in our lives and she told me she would have never believed that about me. That I seemed to “have it all together” and she had a hard time thinking I had ever been that low.  I laughed that she would ever think I “had it together”  and then God blessed me with the amazing opportunity to share the Gospel with her. I got  to tell her that Jesus was the reason I had hope, and the reason I had the strength to overcome my past, that no matter my circumstances I had assurance in Him and  that very faith in Him and learning His word had been the light at the end of my very long, dark tunnel.

I had prayed for a way to talk to this young woman for so long and even though I had no idea how God would do it, I knew he would provide me the perfect opportunity and He did. He used one of the worst experiences of my young life to minister His truth and love to this young woman. No matter the outcome, I know He is active and working in my life and His Gospel was shared with another hurting soul.

I praise His Holy Name…

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28


  • “Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God” (PSA 146:5)
  • “the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (PSA 147:11).
  • “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (PSA 40:31).
  • “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (ROM 15:13).
  • “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him” (PSA 62:5).
  • “May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word” (PSA 119:74).
  • “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (PSA 42:5)
  • “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope” (PSA 130:5).
  • “O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption” (PSA 130:7).
  • “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (PROV 13:12).
  • “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” (PROV 23:18).
  • “Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you” (ZECH 9:12).
  • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (JER 29:11).
  • “through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:2-4).
  • “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (ROM 5:5).
  • “in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (ROM 8:24-25).
  • “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (ROM 12:12).
  • “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” (ROM 15:4).
  • “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (COL 1:27)
  • “a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time” (TIT 1:2)
  • “Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. 18God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged” (HEB 6:17-18).
  • “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek” (Heb 6:17-19-20).
  • “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (HEB 10:23).
  • “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (HEB 11:1).

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The Power and Pity of Jesus.




I have had a hard time lately just living.

It’s been a bit of a struggle, in all areas of my life for some reason, illness, financial issues, and assorted hurts and buffets abound but God in his amazing, unmerited mercy has supported me with great preaching and teaching and He’s blessed me so abundantly by just being there for me, there is so much evidence of His strength in my weakness. He is my rock and my fortress and the harder and tougher life is it seems the stronger the hold of His mighty hand! I love him so much and as I sat in my office trying to find some comfort in his word, I stumbled upon these two sermons. These are so good that I sat, in my office and sobbed into my paperwork. He is our Risen Savior and even in the most seemingly unimportant personal stuff, He cares for us. I hope these are encouraging to you. They sure were to me.

In Love and Faith in Jesus Christ, Mrs. B.
The Power and Pity of Jesus part 1

The Power and Pity of Jesus part 2

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